Someone More Stubborn Than Me

School starts tomorrow. It's hard to believe summer vacation has come to an end. It's even harder to believe that my daughter will start Kindergarten and I will have two in school. Both are very excited for the school year to begin and have been counting the days for the last week or so. I am not sure how my youngest is going to react at being alone all day. I am not sure how I am going to react at being alone with my youngest all day. He is quite the demanding little boy. He is very attached to my older two, even if his primary goal in life is to irritate the hell out of his older sister. He's never been without her, and I've never been without the distraction she provides him. Don't get me wrong, it isn't always constant friction between the two of them (even if it sometimes seems that way). They get along much better when my oldest isn't home and they aren't competing for his attention. Now...

I've never been alone with one child all day before. When I just had one, I worked. If it were my daughter, it might be easier. She is the one who is content to be on her own, or to sit and talk with me. I'm not the imaginative mom who can come up with all sorts of ideas to entertain, teach and interact with my children. I'm the nurturing type, yes. I will sit and talk with them. I hug and cuddle with them. We tell stories to each other sometimes. Other than that, I'm sort of at a loss. I can't see myself taking him to the park, especially right now since there will be other moms there and the possibility of one talking to me puts me in a state. This child gets into things in a way the others did not. He has a temper that was not present in my older children. He wears me out in a way the others did not. He refuses to be toilet trained. He won't to use his manners, whereas it came very naturally to the others. He has screaming tantrums and the older two had only mild ones for a few months before they turned two. There is a lot I need to do with him, and his determination to be contrary bewilders me. I am hoping that having all my attention focused on him will change things, but I am so fearful that it won't. Don't get me wrong. He is the cutest child at times. He is so funny. He says the craziest things that make me burst out in laughter--more so than the older ones. He does really funny things. I always say his only saving grace is that he is so damned cute. If not for that, I'd have put him up on eBay a long time ago.

He's smart, very smart. The other day, we were at the dinner table and my 7 year old asked what the economy was. When my husband began to explain what it was, he piped up, finger pointed in the air and said "Barack Obama". He knew that the two were related, and he had picked it up on his own. During the presidential elections he knew who Barack Obama was, and he had picked that up on his own, too. He also knew who Hillary Clinton was. He wasn't even 3 years old yet. He remembers Joe Biden's name, although he probably can't pick him out on TV. With all this, I think about starting to teaching him the sounds the the letters of the alphabet make so he can read small words, but I don't know if he would sit still that long or take any interest in it. Would he be like he is with toilet training? Would he just dig his heels in and say "NO!" I'd try to send him to pre-school for a couple days a week if it weren't for the toilet training issue. His pediatrician says I can't rush it or force it (but he's going to be 4 in a little over 4 months!!!!!). My oldest was toilet trained at his day care, and my daughter was a dream at it. We trained her on vacation, in fact. She might as well have done it herself.

What do I do? I never thought I'd meet someone more stubborn than me. I have no idea how to outsmart, outlast this child. My daughter is stubborn, and I had thought she would be the death of me. This one...he surprised me. I used to think he'd grow out of his willfulness, at least a little. Now, I'm not so sure. Beyond entertaining him, I think he's going to a) give me a heart attack b) wear me out c) drive me crazy d) all of the above.

Pray for me. Please?