Other Bipolar People

It may seem as if I don't like other Bipolar people based on the statements I have made in my prior posts. I can see why that might be easily construed. Truth is there are lots of people that fall into certain groups that I don't like. Pretentious people, for example, really annoy the hell out of me.

My problem with a lot of the other Bipolar people I have met is their need for political correctness about the illness and that they constantly be treated with kid gloves. I do understand their need for sensitivity, truly I do. In many ways, I do have a soft touch (you probably just won't see it here often). I feel the pain in their hearts so acutely, as this illness messes with my head on an hourly basis, sometimes minute to minute. I would sit and cry with anyone, hold them and stroke their hair as they let it out, but I will not be so somber about my illness every minute of the day. I will not speak of it so seriously all the time. I will not say I'm not crazy or they are not crazy because it's not the 'right' thing to say. Crazy vs. Mentally Ill... Hmmmmm. You say potato, I say potahto. You feel me?

I may speak with disdain of the illness but not of the people who suffer with it. I will speak my mind to the people who criticize me for not being PC, but I still feel for them and their struggle with the illness. I'll be wracked with guilt for hurting someone else's feelings and will bash myself in the head (figuratively speaking) as a result of my illness, but I'll still go right back to being my PolarBabe self. (Unless the person was a dick, then all bets are off...but I will still obsess over it). I don't think it's wrong to be light hearted about it. I accept that I'm LaBebeLoca, (I'll conjugate any way I like, thank you) and I'm doing everything, evvvveeeerrrrryyyyythiiiiiinnnnng I can to manage my illness. It will never change the fact that I knocked on the doors of my neighbors telling them my husband was trying to kill me, or that I sat on our curb in my pajamas with my hair sticking straight up because I didn't wash it for days on end, telling my husband I just wanted 'some air'. I am the crazy lady on the block. I am not sugar coating it for myself, and I'm not sugar coating it for anyone else.

There are going to be days when I will open up and just cry and probably do nothing but feel sorry for myself here. I hope not, but probably will. I have read so many other blogs like that though, so many serial posters on the community forums for the Bipolar and Mental Illness websites that are just so self-pitying and hopeless that I want to vomit. The same people all the time and that is all they ever do. Hey, I'm just as negative as the next beeper, but I like to think I do it with style! I can hear it now "Hey PolarBabe, you stupid bitch! Haven't you heard of a depressive episode????" Well now, as a matter of fact, I have. In fact, I have been in one since November and desperately trying to work my way out of it now! Is that all you got? Gimme another one d-whistle!!!!

Look, our personalities are all different. I don't look to offend anyone, it's just my PolarBabeness. I am a sarcastic, wisecracking, you-fill-in-your-favorite-insult-here. I hope that if someone doesn't like it they can read around the words to hear the actual message--assuming I have one. I'd far prefer it if they were able to not take it seriously and find a laugh or two in my humor. The last thing I want is to cause pain to people who are hurting. So for those people who can't withstand my brand of coping, vaya con Dios, amigos. And that I say with the most sincerest sentiment.

PolarBabe