C'mon Ride the Potty Train

Ok, so this post has absolutely nothing to do with Bipolar. I am making my 900th attempt to toilet train my youngest child. I have been trying for the last year. This child has a stubborn streak larger than the State of Texas and has steadfastly refused to train although all the physical signs of readiness have been present.

I am now determined to win. He remains just as firmly determined that I will not succeed as always. Did I mention his bladder is larger than his stubborn streak? It exceeds the size of the State of Alaska. I missed getting him on the potty first thing this morning, so he filled up--and I really mean filled up--his Pull-Up (we had a nasty stalemate all day yesterday). At present, he is running around nude from the waist down because I know he won't go without his Pull-Up. He has not gone since he woke up this morning. He is also a drinker--well I don't mean that the way it sounded--but he takes in a lot of fluid. Twice as much as my other two, so I'm really pumping them into him today. Yet, he still doesn't go.

I have offered every imaginable bribe to this child. I have withheld dessert. I have turned the faucet on. I have put his hand in warm water. I have poured that warm water on his pee-pee. I have been the encouraging, patient, cheerleading mom. I sang to him. I did the potty dance. I have had my ability to hear high pitches decreased by a few levels, have been hit in a number of areas, had my glasses knocked off my face, had my heart tugged at, have been highly irritated inside, but my will has yet to break.

What the ***bleeeeeeep*** do I do? I refuse to give up, but Christ this child is going to kill me before he will pee on the potty. He says he doesn't want toys, he hates dessert now, and he really, really, really, really hates the potty. He argues that he is not a big boy, he's just a little kid. I tell him the operative word in that sentence is kid, not baby. I think he thinks I'm splitting hairs.

What do you do when they just don't want to do it? I've tried every suggestion that has been given to me. I will try anything short of duct taping him to the toilet (and even that is starting to look enticing to me).

When someone tells you it's much harder to potty train a boy, they aren't kidding. When you are trying to train the youngest boy, it's downright impossible. If he's a Capricorn on top of it, you might as well load up on tranquilizers or tequila. Either would come in handy. I don't recommend both...the combination is too tempting.