I've been talking to my friend who is Bipolar. It's been a good relationship for both of us, sharing our experience and feelings about the illness. She's been in a state of depression not unlike the one I went through just a short time ago. She's been trapped on the sofa, listening to the clock tick; unable to function. Things have begun to change, however...
She called me just the other day. She was speaking quite fast and telling me how much she had accomplished. She had scrubbed her floor on her knees the night before so meticulously that her knees were bruised. She had made an elaborate chicken soup for her boyfriend who is battling a cold. The next day, she did laundry (something that has been piling up for a while and has been causing her a great amount of anxiety), drove 40 minutes to her psychiatrist's office for meds that she was about to run out of, which was another source that had been a source of anxiety prior to that. All throughout the conversation she was swearing like a sailor, using words I'd never heard her use before. She said she was on her fourth cup of coffee and had been chain smoking.
I spoke to her again yesterday. She had gotten up at 4:30a, made breakfast for her boyfriend, did Pilates (she's been worried over her weight gain from her meds), did more laundry, and organized her pantry. It was only 10:00 am when I talked to her and she'd already accomplished all these things. She wasn't talking quite as fast, but still I was concerned. I expressed to her that I was afraid she was kicking up into a mania. She came up with several excuses as to why she thought she wasn't, but wasn't totally closed off to the possibility. I didn't want to let the air out of her balloon in case she really was just having some good days, but that seems unlikely to be the situation.
I asked her just how much she had slept the night before. She had gone to bed about 9:30, but had gotten up at 1:30a because of her cat, and then as I mentioned, she was up at 4:30a. Alone, it's an acceptable amount, although I don't know how long she was up in the middle of the night. What concerned me was that she takes Temazepam for sleep, which is a hypnotic sleep aid. I used to take it, and I slept like the dead. Nothing woke me up. Maybe that's just me. Nevertheless, she was wide awake when she got up in the morning and had the same amount of energy that she did when I spoke to her. Things that make you go Hmmm.
She had a psych appointment that afternoon and I urged her to tell her doctor explicitly all the things she had done over the last few days. I could be wrong, but felt it was worth mentioning. I later learned (indirectly) through her Mom that her doctor had increased her Geodon, so maybe she was detailed enough. Then again, she did call her Mom with a long laundry list of things she wanted her to do to help her develop a structure and take the load off her. It was so long that her Mom had to stop her in the middle of it. Too much spontaneous gusto.
My big worry is about her family. While they are eager to help her and want to be as supportive as they can, I think that they will be so relieved that she feels better they will not recognize her behavior for what it is. She did drive to her Mom's after she got into a fight with her boyfriend. Her Mom called my Aunt afterward and stated that she was not "flying high". They don't realize that mania can doesn't always present itself the same way every time, or that the symptoms aren't always consistent. It seems to me that she was being dismissive. I also don't think that her family understands that in some ways mania can be more dangerous than depression (suicidal tendencies notwithstanding). It's not just overly buoyant behavior. Even my Aunt, who is very supportive of me and has made the effort to become somewhat informed about Bipolar, was smiling at some of the behaviors her Mom was describing. It's not funny, nor amusing. I also heard her describing to her Mom that Bipolars can be reeled back in somewhat during mania. I had to stop her and tell her emphatically and unequivocally, "NO!" Mania is like a steam engine. There is a reason you have to call your psychiatrist immediately. Only treatment will take care of it. Once it has flared, it will only suck up more oxygen until it is a roaring fire.
There are so many things that her Mom has said to my aunt that have disheartened me. I can only be here for her and hope that my support and experience makes a difference. One thing I do know is that I can't break through a mania. I'm not that powerful; nothing but medication is. I can only hope and pray that the increase in her Geodon is strong enough to balance her out.
You Know You’re Getting Old When…
8 years ago
