Blocked Again

I've been absent for awhile.  Another case of Blogger's Block again, I guess.  I just haven't had much to say.  My life has been fairly hum-drum, nothing of note, no real problems nor insights to share.  I'm not one to sit at my computer and relate what kind of sandwich I had with which kind of savory mustard.  I know some people do, but I guess I'm not such a great writer that I can make that sound really interesting.  Then again, I don't really know anyone who can.

I lived through Halloween.  It's always been a source of anxiety for me.  I dread taking my kids out trick or treating the days leading up to it, and even more so the day of.  I managed to get through it without Ativan and only breaking out in a mild sweat.  It wasn't easy, but it could have been much worse.  No matter what, I don't think Halloween will ever be fun for me.

I've definitely seen some improvement in my condition.  I've been doing more things; I was able to go to a birthday party with my daughter.  (Did I already blog about that?)  I managed to spend time talking with a couple parents and didn't vomit or faint.  I've actually become somewhat friendly with one of the mothers.  We chat when we see each other at the school now.  Far from being friends, but at least it's kind of something.  I'm taking my son to karate lessons.  That's a big step for me, sitting in the room with other parents, too.  I do that Ativan-free so far.  I've also done a little bit of marketing, too.  Will wonders never cease?

At the same time, I've been a little down lately.  Not enormously, but just a bit.  This week has been an effort to get out of bed and morning routine with the kids has been a chore to me.  I've also been very, very tired.  I saw Dr. Tween today and she thinks it may have something to do with the change in seasons.  She's adding a low dose of Wellbutrin to my cocktail to see if that helps some.  As I was with the increases in my Zoloft in the past, I'm cautiously agreeable.  She's been a godsend to me, so I have full faith in her professional judgment.  I just proceed with eyes wide open on the anti-depressants.  Especially the Wellbutrin, since that's what I was taking when I had my psychotic episode.  Hopefully the benefits we are shooting for are what we get, because that would be awesome.

Other than this, there's still really nothing to say.  I hate not blogging.  I may have to resort to poetry.  Pray that I come up with some thoughts first.