Self Check: Yep, I AM Still Bipolar

I follow a number of blogs. One led me to another blog, which was intelligent, and thoughtful. It was about one of my favorite subjects, the notion of having Bipolar vs. being Bipolar. Of course, he was in the other camp. I'm always interested in this debate and looking for something that might sway me to the other side. Food for thought is good, and I'm an open-minded thinker. Most of the time. Or I try to be. At least this week. I digress...

This person essentially wrote that thinking of oneself as being Bipolar as, in my interpretation, a resistance to accepting the disorder and thereby hampering a proactive approach to managing the illness or one's life with it. Interesting.

He wrote that recovery is easier when your family gets involved. He means that having a supportive family that is willing to be educated, of course. I agree. He states the importance of taking the initiative to get them involved. I agree with this, but you also have to know when to stop. He bought "An Unquiet Mind" for his mom. I bought a book for my mom too, but being the narcissist she is, she thought of how it applied to herself. (Even though she's not Bipolar, just a narcissist.) I'm not going to get anywhere with her. Fortunately, I have Mr. PolarBabe and my Aunt and they are great.

He talked about adhering to your medical regime, or in his words, just taking "your fucking pills." I agree with that, too--I like the way he puts it. No bullshit there. Just do it. You need them.

Now, down to the key elements; where we reach our different conclusions.

He writes that the "disease" has been "...romanticized in [various forms of art]". I don't know for sure, but I think I can safely assume that I don't romanticize Bipolar Disorder one iota. It sucks. Get over it.

"...that we have deluded ourselves" into thinking it is something to be "perversely proud of" or ashamed of. Well, we may all start out fearful, and I guess shame can happen. I am ashamed by some of the things I have done. Am I ashamed of the illness? Not so much. Do I fear rejection? Who doesn't? Am I proud of being Bipolar? Hmmm. I guess I'll get to that in a minute.

"You are not your disease." He states it's a "trap" we all fall into. I disagree on both counts. My disorder is part of ME. My brain doesn't quite work properly. I don't say "I have this brain here that isn't running right. I gotta get it fixed." I can't fix it. I could try to say I need some additives in the old tank to keep it running on an all (or most) cylinders but it's not like I can trade it in for a new one either. I AM Bipolar. My brain is a tad out of whack.

I'm summarizing here, but he made a statement that saying he was Bipolar was an excuse he could offer as one ignorant to another. That it "worked", that it sounded like it should mean something "Important". (Huh?) "So the people around us do not fear for us. So the people who care about us, the people who care for us, just shrug their shoulders and give no reaction because those people have no idea what manic depression even means… " I'm missing this point. How does this translate to not educating someone else or oneself or not being compliant with their treatment?

He goes on to say it's basically something we just don't understand. Ok, I can agree that lots of people, Bipolar and not Bipolar alike, don't understand and some don't try to understand. I do understand. This Bipolar thingy here is not all that I am, as I have said before, but it is indeed a facet of who I am. So, I guess this is where the pride comes in. I'm proud of who I am. If that extends to my Bipolarity, well then so be it. But my Bipolar knows it's place in my life.

What's really important, and where he and I agree the most, is that a Bipolar person has to accept his/her diagnosis, follow his/her treatment plan, accept reality and move the hell on. Don't put the back of your hand to your forehead, wallow or use it as an impediment to living a full life. Whether you say you "are Bipolar" or "have Bipolar," don't fight your diagnosis. Like he says, take your fucking pills.